The Feathers that Answered My Prayer

We went to our home in North Carolina for the week of July 4^th.   It’s become my healing place. I love the mountains and the cooler air, but it’s a place where the walls don’t talk to me with memories of Connor. There is a picture of all four kids hanging on the main hallway from our wedding last year.  Connor is crouched down making a funny face and it’s one of my favorite pictures showing his witty and charismatic personality.  It’s also one of the last photos I have of him. 

It’s not unusual for me to talk to Connor. I tell him how much I miss and love him every day.  But I’ll also sometimes ask him to send me something.  For example, I asked him once for a white duck and it wasn’t but a day later when a white duck appeared in a commercial I had never seen before. I don’t ask for things often because I’m afraid to “overuse” it or maybe I’m just fearful that I might not get it. 

On our first day in North Carolina, I asked Connor to send me a feather.  You may recall from a previous post the very last photo Connor sent me was of a giant feather he found while doing laundry.  Since he passed, I’ve found multiple feathers, and each one has been while I was talking about him. 

It wasn’t an hour later that a neighbor and friend who has a house on the next block stopped by with a wooden feather he had carved using trees from our property. WHAT?!?!?  I mean, that was record time.  Wow.   But what’s crazier is later that same day, we were at our favorite brewery and this woman walks by with a full feather tattoo!  Of all the tattoos... in all of the places... on the day I prayed asking for one.

I will never be happy the way I was before he passed, but I felt some semblance of happiness that day.  I felt connected to him and even joked that he was an “overachiever.”  When you lose a child, you will do anything you can to feel a connection – no matter how small, silly, or cheesy it may seem to others. 

I don’t know how thick or thin the veil is between this world and Heaven, but I want to believe he can hear me and has the ability to send me signs that he’s still part of my life.  I truly believe that my prayer was directly answered - twofold.

A few days later, I had a dream about Connor.  He was eating cookies at our kitchen counter and flashed me his beautiful smile.  I was telling my husband about the dream when we were out on a walk the next day. Once I finished telling him, he pointed to the ground where a big feather was laying in the middle of the road.

Overachiever. ∞