His "Dash" is Infinite

Connor prided himself on being the first person to reach out to me on my birthday. He’d sometimes do it the night before just to make sure he was first since he knew my mom always called early too. It’s now my third birthday without him and I am greatly appreciative of the calls and texts and FB messages I’ve received. But, boy, do I miss his hearing from him.

In the poem “The Dash” by Linda Ellis, she famously talks about the small line between a person's birth year and death year. It got me thinking today that no matter how long you live, that dash is the same size. In theory, my dash should be much longer than Connor’s but I’m afraid it’ll appear to be the same.

Connor didn't love doing dishes, but he'd always do them on my birthday.

When I think about Connor’s “dash”, I realize that while his life was short in years, he lived a full life many would be grateful to have. He traveled to more than 20 countries, he never wanted for anything, he was surrounded by so many who loved him, he was smart and he had a plan for success. That in no way suggests that I think his dash was sufficiently complete because I absolutely do not.  He had SO much more life to live and his dash should’ve been miles and miles long.

In his short life, he knew he was blessed, which makes me happy. I found a note on his phone written six weeks before he died thanking God for the many experiences he’d been given. He had a grateful heart and while he sometimes took things for granted, when he took the time to reflect, he knew how fortunate he was.

Connor was busy starting to live his life, but he always showed up when it mattered most. He loved his family and would always make it a point to be there for them. When his brother had appendicitis, he raced to the hospital and spent hours next to his bedside.  As he left to go home just after midnight, he pointed to his brother and said “don’t die.”   Ugh, the irony.

In another note I found on his phone, he talked about needing to spend more time with his grandparents because he knew time was fleeting. Little did he (or any of us) know how true that really was.

As Christians, we believe that your spirit (the true essence of who you are) lives on with God after your physical body on earth dies. Thinking about that, I realized Connor’s dash doesn’t end.  It’s infinite.  ∞