To say that Connor loved Christmas would be an understatement.  He would be so excited when the Christmas tree went up and he always wanted to be the one to put the angel on the top.   When we got a really tall tree that required a tall ladder – and a tall person – he still insisted.  It would make me so nervous because he would be on the very top of the ladder leaning over on one leg wobbly.  Inevitably, though, he’d always do it and then beam with pride.     He had “his orn

At Thanksgiving time – and before Connor died - I would say how grateful I was for family, friends, etc… All the things we say.  However, after he died, I really struggled with gratefulness.  I mean, how am I supposed to be grateful when my oldest son is suddenly stripped from my life with no warning leaving me with a life full of hopes and dreams shattered? This was Connor's social media post on his last Thanksgiving. It’s taken me a long time of reflection and prayer to sta

They say grief comes in waves and can hit you out of nowhere.  Well, that was certainly my experience more than a few times this weekend.  My stepson is turning 20 in a few weeks.  He’s now the age that Connor was when he passed away.  It’s very surreal to think about how time hasn’t stopped…and how it never will.  How everyone will continue to get older, yet Connor will forever be three weeks shy of his 20 th  birthday.   I don’t know if my stepson has made the connection an